This has nothing to do with Christmas and the jitters because it's nearing.
I just got home from the office, tired as usual and begging to rest. I cannot rest, not yet, because I still have tons of things to do. I just want to cry. I have never worked so hard in my entire life.
This morning, when my son woke up, he looked at me and asked, "Where's Mommy?"
Yes, he asked me on my face where am I. I was teary eyed when I answered, "I am here. I am your Mommy." He turned his back on me afterwards. I bet he was not satisfied with the answer. I gave him a hug reassuring him that I am with him, that I will be there when he needs me, and that I am still his mom.
I have a lot of catching up to do. But for now, I will have to cry. I just have to let it out and forgive myself for being absent in my son's life for quite sometime now.