How to spot a pathological liar?
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My patience measures from here to the moon and I rarely confront someone in the office about bad behavior because I am mad, until today. I just learned that one person in the office is spreading lies about me and my department. Everything that this person said were complete lies. I was furious. I had to do something, I had to correct the lies.
I went to their office to ask about what she was telling. She could not look me in the eyes and her gestures were completely inappropriate to what she's saying. She even changed the topic so that I may forget about the real issue. She's already caught red handed but still she's denying everything, even pointing others to escape. I don't see the point anymore of talking to her. I ended the confrontation with these words:
"Don't say anything if what you are going to say are lies."
She has been involved in so many rumor mongering issues and was given disciplinary actions it but she still does the same things over and over again. She's a pathological liar.
According to www.depressiond.com, pathological lying is a compulsive or impulsive uncontrollable lying on a regular basis despite foreseeing inevitable negative consequences or ultimate disclosure of the lie. It may be developmentally caused by:
* A dysfunctional family;
* Sexual or physical abuse in childhood;
* Neuropsychological abnormalities; such as borderline mental retardation, learning disabilities, etc.;
* Impulse control disorders; such as kleptomania, pathological gambling, compulsive shopping;
* Accommodating or suggestible personality traits;
* Personality disorders; such as sociopathic, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic and more;
* Substance abuse or substance abuse in the family.
They lie to:
* Take advantage of the situation or misguide a rival
* Avoid confrontation or punishment
* Cover up lack of knowledge
* Cover up embarrassment
* Entertain oneself or others
* Reinforce self-esteem, because of failing own expectation
* Receive unearned praise or avoid disappointment or disapproval
* For nor reason whatsoever
If you see these signs (from www.wikihow.com) from a co-worker, a relative or a lover... chances are, he or she is a pathological liar:
1. Trying to pit friends/family members against each other. If the liar was involved in an argument, he or she may change the details so that he or she looks better. Also, he or she may involve other parties, making up information about the other party in order to get more people on his or her side.
2. Trying to avoid trouble. If the liar has done something wrong, he or she will do whatever is necessary to avoid blame--that means fabricating a story and/or pinning culpability on another person.
3. Fabricating a lie in order to gain attention. The main goal with many pathological liars is to gain positive notoriety. From being bored to having low self esteem, the pathological liar's goal is to look better than everyone else so that people pay attention and worship their accomplishments.
The best that you can do to deal with pathological liars is to inform authorities (your boss, in case he or she is a co-employee) and to convince them to undergo therapy.