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The Downside of Being A Boss

When I was in college, all I could dream of is how to become an owner of my own business or to become a boss.

I started working as a clerk at age 21 in a local government office. I stayed there for about two years before deciding to work in a private company. It was a breathe of fresh air from the corrupt system of the government but I stayed only for about year. I was even asked a promotion but I refused because I believe that there's still a better chance for me out there. Finally, in 2007, I was hired as an executive secretary, also in a private company. After three years, I was promoted as a department head of IT and later on as a department head of marketing in addition to my IT duties. I have 5 people under my supervision.

My dream of becoming a boss came true. I thought before that it was the perfect job with all its perks--high salary, respect, authority, the sense of being in control of everything. It's not, because behind all the responsibilities and perks is accountability.

I see myself like a mother to my people. I teach them, guide them and seek their opinion when necessary. They would even sometimes ask for an advise for their personal problems, which I don't mind, because I know that their personal problems will affect their work.

There is no such thing as a perfect organization. Policies become obsolete. Rules need to be amended. People change. I manage people aside from managing the system and when either of the two becomes troubled, it is where my accountability as a boss gets in. But, it is when people get in trouble that gives so much stress to a boss. I don't think it will ever be easy to resolve a problem when it involves a person--there's so much emotion involved that it drains you. It will also come to a point wherein you question yourself--was it because of the way I manage my department, the way I treat them, did I not train them enough, did I become too lax or too strict, am I really capable of being a manager? It gets into you no matter what and you really need to be resilient enough to rise from the circumstances and say 'it's all part of the learning process of becoming a great leader'.

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